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Not Deaf Enough,
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Introduction
Acknowledgements
Chapter 1 The
Less Than Perfect Baby
Chapter 2 Grief: Oh God!
What Do We Do Now?
Chapter 3 It's Not
Fair!
Chapter 4 Hard of
Hearing Forever |
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Chapter 5 A Whole
New Crowd of Friends
Chapter 6 A
Parents' Eye View of Hearing Tests
Chapter 7 The
Audiogram: A Scientific Picture of the Child's
Hearing. The Ling Five-Sounds Test
Chapter 8 The Ear, Ear
Canal, Ear Drum, Middle Ear and
Inner Ear. Didn't I Learn This in Grade Six, Health?
Chapter 9 Hearing
Aids and Aids to Hearing
Chapter 10 Smile Though
your Heart is Breaking: Buying and Inserting the Hearing Aids and
Meeting the Costs
Chapter 11 Batteries:
Life and Death for the Hearing Aids and the Child
Chapter 12 Ling and I
Chapter 13
Within Earshot/Other
Physical Considerations:
Maximizing the Auditory Environment Chapter 14 Learning to Live with a Child Who Wears Hearing Aids: /The Daily Chores to Promote Good Hearing/...and the Frustrations
Chapter 15 Not Deaf
Enough
Chapter 16 A
Parent's Consideration of Sign Languages and
Speechreading
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Chapter 17 Day Care, Babysitters and the Outside World:
Making Sure Other People Help Your Child
Chapter 18 Who am I? Parent or Teacher?
Chapter 19 Formal Vs: Informal Teaching of Listening,
Speech, and Language
Chapter 20 Teaching Aids
Chapter 21 Making Life Safe for the Child Who is Hard of
Hearing Without Overprotecting Him
Chapter 22 Temper Tantrums, Whining and Squirreling
Chapter 23 Guess Who's Finally Invited to Dinner?
Chapter 24 Other Children Chapter 25 Off to School From a secure foundation of love and support the child steps into the future. Parents need knowledge to advocate for the child in school.
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Useful Tips and Thoughts Compiled by Lucy Cuzon du Rest 1) On Early Diagnosis. 2) On Raising a Child Who is Hard of Hearing. 3) For Parents. 4) On Choices in Deaf Education. 5) To Share With Caregivers, Family Members, Teachers, the Outside World. 6) On Dealing with Professionals. 7) On Audiograms, Hearing Impairment Measurement, Ling Five-Sounds Test. 8) On the Ear and Hearing Aids, and Daily Nitty-Gritty Problems 9) On Teaching Aids: Toys, Books, Phones, Computers etc. 10) On Meeting the Costs of Hearing Problems
Bibliography
Index
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Introduction
If you become a rock on the mountain high above me...I will be a mountain climber and I will climb to where you are. If you become a crocus in a hidden garden...I will be a gardener and I will find you. Margaret Wise Brown The Runaway Bunny
Not Deaf Enough: Raising a Hard of Hearing Child is the story of my child Reid, who is hard of hearing, a child whose better ear hearing loss is relatively mild. At age two, he was first labelled “Not deaf enough” by a professional assessing him. Like most children with similar hearing problems, his hearing loss is often ignored, underestimated and misunderstood by the world at large. Not Deaf Enough. is also the story of many other children with varied hearing problems, their parents, and the professionals who work with them.
It began sitting in a dark room with Reid on my knee. Someone had just said, "Your baby has a hearing problem." We wondered, "What does that mean?"
Not much is written about the child who is hard of hearing, especially those with mild or moderate hearing losses. Children with these problems can easily fall between the cracks because they are not "profoundly deaf." However, a child who is hard of hearing faces life-disrupting problems and meets many daily challenges. The child's parents may grieve for the hearing loss and worry about the child's future in the same way as parents of children with more severe hearing problems. The siblings are expected to love and accept a family member who has a problem.
I believe parents need information about everything to do with a hearing problem, and then they can begin to help the child. Good information also prepares the parents to act as advocate for the child with the outside world...with other children and adults, with teachers, audiologists, doctors and other professionals. This is particularly important for children with mild losses because there are many people out there who still believe "Put hearing aids on the child and he will learn to speak, get straight A's in school and become President." Sure, hearing aids help the child to hear better, but it is only the beginning. Once you understand "why" a child needs hearing aids, and what their limitations are, you can help your child.
It was not the audiologist who crawled on hands and knees around a shopping mall looking for Reid's hearing aid. Nor did Reid ever throw his hearing aids across the room when the itinerant teacher of the deaf was visiting. It was not the auditory-verbal therapist who pushed the swing one thousand times repeating basic speech sounds, although occasionally it was a speech pathologist pushing her own child next to me. Mostly I, Mummy, did the work, but my husband Ross, and Reid's siblings, Tiffany, Barbara, and William also pitched in.
All children who have hearing problems need help from their families. The family does the everyday work that builds language and teaches patterns of "how to behave." Sometimes the families of children who have hearing problems are so busy coping that they lose their sense of humor, and their intuitive understanding of a child's expectations and accomplishments. Here are things you can learn to do as part of a regular daily routine which make it easier to have a member of the family who is hard of hearing.
The cheapest and best teaching aids are the parent and the family. The ingenuity and natural playfulness of all of you engaged in hours of talking and listening everyday has a remarkable, cumulative effect. The photographs of all of us scattered throughout the book reflect this. This is a family, all active, all learning, doing, playing, talking and listening. Reid was right there in the midst of it. Reid learned to speak and to listen, and see himself as an important part of the whole.
PAM Candlish
West Luther, Ontario, Canada 1996
P..S. The arbitrary use of "he" or "she" are done in the interest of a smooth reading style. The term "Deaf" is used for people and institutions which are in the Deaf Community and for those who use sign language as their primary form of communication.
Acknowledgments
To Dan Ling for reading an early version of the manuscript and encouraging me to continue. Dr.Ling autographed my copy of his new book, "In appreciation of a great parent." He probably says that to all of us who try to do the best for our children. I answer him here:
In appreciation of a truly great teacher,
Daniel Ling,
who has devoted his life to helping hearing-impaired children to talk.
To Judy Simser of Auditory-Verbal International who took the manuscript on her summer vacation. And to Lucy Cuzon du Rest, and Don McGee, and Elizabeth Quigley of the Alexander Graham Bell Association for the Deaf, Inc who have graciously put up with phone calls, faxes, and gurgles. Lucy, if this is your swan song, it is a great tune!
To the Itinerant Pre-School Teachers of the Deaf of the E.C.Drury School for the Deaf who got us going, to Carol Pavey who listened to us, Catherine McEnroe, our therapist, and Rosemary Pryde of VOICE for Hearing-Impaired Children who encouraged us. To Garth Sweet, our Special Education Officer, to James MacDougall of McGill University, to Richard Seewald and Shane Moodie of the University of Western Ontario, to Ian McIntosh of Ear Mold Design Ltd, to Trish Taylor formerly of Hearing Ear Dogs of Canada for a day in a dog's training, to Nina Picton of CHEO, Riza Razack for educational audiology, to Gay Gretton for speech pathology, to Carol Flexer and all the parents and professionals who took time to talk, read or write. To the Family Resource Center on Disabilities for U.S. tax information, and Bell Canada for services for the hard of hearing. To Patrick McMullon for photography, to Phonic Ear and Unitron for illustrations.
To all the people who call and ask, "How's the book?" To Inger Lise ,Lars and Bonnie Lilholt. To Marcia Swaby for psychological support and friendship since J.W.R.M. and Willy S. To Sheila Reid, my Howdy Doody and Oreos friend, To all the people who invented computers and keep making them better, To Ross and Patrick for helping with the computer when Ross could have been mowing the lawn and Patrick could have been playing golf. To Mary-Jean and Hugh Watson who encouraged my education and to Bob Morgan, my brother and paterfamilias. To Jan Morgan who took time from her books A Chronicle of Lower Canada to correct spelling, dangling participles and other heinous English crimes.
To Ross, who read pages of tiny handwriting with excitement and encouragement, to Tiffany who learned to cook so the family would not starve, to Barbara who learned to read to herself, to William who complained that he was not only lacking in quantity time, but was been deprived of quality time too, and to Reid who learned not to unplug the computer when Mummy was typing...Thanks.
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