hardofhearingchildren.com by PAM Candlish MLS
"What did you say?" "Eh?" "WHAT did you say?" "MM?" "WHAT DID YOU SAY?" oh "PARDON ME!"

Watching My Family Help a Child to Learn to Talk.

 Having had kids builds up great competencies in grandparents

Being a grandparent is interesting, something of an understatement, but all those years of having kids builds up great competencies in what a child is going to do, and sensible pre-planning involving not expecting to sit down for several years. We have a pond 50 by 100 feet with a shallow end for kids and a deep end for swimming. Jonathan and Grandpa went for a walk with Dessie the swimming dog. Dessie went right in the pond, Jonathan followed, expecting to walk on water, and sank, in the deep end. As he floated back up Ross reached down and pulled out the surprised child, and we ambled casually  to the other end of the pond where he was able to get in slowly. All of this happened very calmly because both Ross and I knew he was going to fall in the pond...he is a kid. We stay close to him when he is outside at our home, and when he is inside, the doors are locked. 

Talking needs to be the best way to get what he wants. 

My grandson, Jonathan is 22 months old now. He is a picky eater, still loves his bottle, gets milk in the bottle, and juice in a no-leak tippy cup. Mostly he is a sunny independent child, playing by himself without words. If he decides he wants to do something, he does not have to ability to talk about it, so he just goes ahead and does it. When he is prevented from doing what he wants to do, he becomes grumpy. I see in his behaviour already the seeds of non-social activities related to hearing loss because he is happy doing exactly what he wants to do, and unhappy when he is tired, or not interested in an activity. While this is true of most people, it is a little edge of observable behaviour, not talking and self-reliant. He still has to learn that talking is the best way to get what he wants. 

Jonathan had a hearing test as a baby, and had perfect sensorineural hearing. Another hearing test last year revealed a mild loss due to fluid in his ears. His nose was full or running for the entire winter. My daughter moved to another apartment with better aid quality, and his nose cleared up. Also we got out the big guns for inhaled nose medication from the doctor. Tubes are a possibility in the fall.

He has immense gestalt, able to put things like baby lego together without seeing the end product first. He appears to have excellent comprehension of what is said to him, and his speech is at the level where we all try to figure out if he really made a word. He has some babble which sounds great but is not attached to word meaning, although the body language skills are excellent.

Three Words at 22 months

I figured out that "Deh-hie" is Dessie, his companion and protector. The SS is clearly missing. Dessie is a german shepherd collie  who is devoted to Jonathan. When Jonathan sits in his high chair to eat, not his favorite thing to do, he puts one piece of food in his mouth, and drops an equivalent piece of food for the dog who is right under the high chair. If he does not like supper, Dessie gets it all. 

He says "Mam" for his mom, "Dad-y" for his dad. So three words at his age, is about as bad as Reid was at the same age. He had a speech assessment which Ross went to as well, and found himself dealing with a defensive speech pathologist who implied grandparents (and parents) don't know much. Imagine! She had not heard of my book. 

Hanen

My daughter was referred to a Hanen course which was given on the day after she moved, so the Hanen course will have to wait. Well, I took the Hanen course too, many years ago, and would have found it useful for Barbara who had verbal apraxia, but it was not useful for Reid because it was not modified for children with hearing losses. I remember feeling at the time that the course was one more obstacle which I had to overcome to get to a speech pathologist for my child, and I knew the tricks already from the years of speech pathology I had with Barbara.

At the time Jonathan was born, the aims of the Ontario Healthy Baby program were still hearing and speech around three years, which is unacceptable of course. Jonathan is really still running under the previous expectations with the system patting itself on the head for getting there a head of time, but even identified with a mild hearing loss, he is in wait mode, one way or another. 

Problems

He is tongue thrusting which he seems to think is speech. When other children tongue thrust, we pushed the tongue back into the mouth, and discouraged it as any form of speech at a much younger age. I flutter my tongue behind my teeth, when Jonathan tongue thrusts, and sometimes I make a TH with the tongue between my teeth  and use a TH word at the same time. 

He is still drooling a lot, always having a wet t-shirt. I wondered if the drooling is postural, meaning his head is down, so the drool comes out his mouth. If he lifted he head a bit, the drool would go down his throat.

Little Tricks from Grandmama.

We have a marvellous wind mill which came from the John Tracy clinic at the A.G.Bell conference in 2000. We blow on the wind mill to make it go around, and then let Jonathan blow. This was not a natural skill, most of his baby hood has been involved in sucking for nutrition. 

I have tenor recorder which he blows into, and if he blows hard enough (takes a lot of air) he gets a sound. He has just added "singing" a sound while he blows, and he also sings without a song. He has his own soprano recorder which he blows too, and his Daddy can play the recorder for him too.

The Ultimate Family for communication

Last week we went to visit my brother and his wife at their home in the laurentians. My brother is Jonathan's godfather, had five kids, many grandchildren himself, and was a special ed teacher. His wife was also a teacher, principal and running a school board, and wrote three books. When I was a child, I used to visit their house in amazement because they played and fought with their children, a complete contrast to the solitary childhood I had. Ross and I modeled our family on this family, my kids fit in there naturally, feel comfortable and are part of the next generation.

Verbal skills are important in this home, parry and thrust, look for the natural development and push forwards. Allow the child an opportunity to make a contribution, and model correctly while appearing very interested in what the child is saying. The children in this home deal with issues, not people, and argue before, during and after meals, play bridge, and many other card games. This is a mold for the children of all ages, including me or my grandson. My brother and his wife are in their 70's, and still perfectly capable of dealing with Jonathan's speech development. If anything, I would say there was, in their retirement, more time for the delights of speaking with grandchildren.

Special Thank-you to Barbara.

I would like to thank my daughter Barbara who saved for a year to take me with her on this trip. Barbara has been an incredible support to me through this awful past year, and has been instrumental in keeping my web going through thick and thin, because she believes it is the most important thing I do. She also has the experience of putting the child first for herself, and shows her understanding many ways. 

-PAM Candlish  7 August 2002